So, it all started with an exhausting flight on August 9, 2005. Lisa, Maddy and I rolled into Beijing with a dizzying case of jetlag, exhaustion and anxiety. On Dec 16, 2005 we landed in cozy bed in Atlanta to start the whirlwind Tour De Christmas ‘05.
So the following is my feeble attempt to summarize the first 5 months, what we’ve learned, and how we’ve grown. These large “pages” will usually coincide with milestones such as our return trips to visit our friends and family. I developed this list after attending a christmas party with my mountain biking friends - the BOD Bike Group where I barely ate because I was answering so many of the same questions. So here goes….
Do you like it?
We like the experience much more than the place. We like what we are learning and we like the people but it’s sometimes overwhelming, exhausting, and a downright pain in the butt to live there.
Knowing what you know now, would you still do it?
Absolutely.
What is China like?
Chinese. It’s almost impossible to characterize China to someone who has never been in Asia or lived overseas for a stint. It’s basically a full-frontal assault on all your senses and sensibilities. Things have a Chinese smell and taste. The pollution is invasive. You no longer see english in public places. The people drive in nonsensical ways. A landlord would rather collect no rent for a year than lose face over a $25 / month discount. The poor don’t seem disenfranchised or bitter but those with money flaunt it in ridiculous ways. There’s just enough “westernization” here to make you forget you are here…then your bubble bursts at the site, sound, or smell of something very foreign. Come for a month and you’ll understand.
Do a lot of people speak english?
Assume that nobody does because it’s extremely rare to be interacting outside the office with english speakers. As a matter of fact, you don’t leave the house without an English-to-Chinese dictionary and a cell phone (with a translator’s phone number)…you could easily find yourself helpless.
How is Maddy doing?
She’s loving every minute of it. The school is amazing and the curriculum, which is based upon the International Baccalaureate program is ideal for the way she learns. She really impressed us with her ability to adapt to a new school with enthusiasm and an open-mind.
How about Lisa?
According to a friend who is setting up an insurance company here, expat wives are the worst insurance risk. They become hypochondriacs, they catch STDs during affairs, they drink more and use more prescription drugs. In other words, this is a critical question because expat spouses have a very rough time. But I’ve known all along that she would fare way better than others. She had a shaky start in the beginning when she had to relinquish control of daily tasks but she hasn’t had any problems since then. When I asked her about how she handles being alone, she replied “there’s 13 million people in Beijing…I’m never alone”. Thankfully she’s got a great sense of humor. She understands that it’s a conscious choice how to feel about her circumstance and she chooses to enjoy it and make the most of it. She will be taking Madarin lessons when we return from the break.
How is the food?
The Chinese food is different from the Chinese food in America. I’ve found some really good dishes but most of the time it’s not as good due to the quality of the meats. The same applies to all other categories of foods here. Without good beef and chicken, it’s hard match the quality of foods we have in the US. In a place where my staff regularly eats duck and chicken feet along with other things I won’t mention, I stay far away from the hot dogs. I’m afraid might actually contain dog but I’d be afraid that even dog would be considered more savory than the things inside the processed meats here. So I’ve been eating a lot more vegetarian dishes and starting to develop a taste for lamb.
How is the job?
The job is good. Having been a consultant, it’s easy for me to walk into a new situation…it’s no problem. What has been more complicated is the fact that I also report back to my employer in the US. Managing the relationship between the two is very tough sometimes. It’s compounded by the fact that one is a corporation and the other is a school. But again, I didn’t take this job because it was easy. I took it because I was tired of having an easy job.
Have you learned the language?
I’ve learned enough to get around in a taxi, in markets, and a few work related phrases such as “the computer is down / broken”. My best new phrase is “I’ll show you the way to go” which was liberating when it came to taxis. Lisa is learning some good housekeeping and shopping language and her best phrase is “are you crazy?” which seems to instantly disarm merchants. Madeline, who will be blasting past everyone is taking 40 minutes of Chinese each day. Lisa and I will be starting lessons in Jan.
Is it what you expected?
I expected it to be tough but it turned out to be even tougher than I imagined. Seemingly simple things take a lot of time and effort. I’ve only been mountain biking once. I still don’t have my own a car and getting a house was a 3 month long nightmare. Auto loans aren’t available to foreigners and nicer cars cost double what they cost in the US. A full-time driver costs triple what I expected. The businesses that advertise in the english-speaking magazines aren’t necessarily english-speaking businesses. Our housing compound has a much greater Asian population than I was imagining.
Do they like Americans?
First, you have to understand that the people here don’t distinguish Americans from any other white westerner. I’ve heard that they think we are all fat. The are enamored by western goods and really want products made in the USA. But regarding whether they “like” the US, it’s policies, etc. is a hard question to answer this early in my stay here.
In the US, you see headlines like “China…the next superpower” which makes the typical, competitive US citizen think that the government here is rallying the people to take over the world which isn’t really true. If anything, the government here seems to be rallying the people to try to fit into the western culture better. And the average worker on the street just wants what we all want…a car and a nice place to live…in that order.
How has this changed you?
I’ve become more open to other races and very empathetic of foreigners in the US. Seeing the lines of Chinese trying to get a visa at the US embassy makes you realize what a privilege it is to come to America and those who come and learn our language should be given a tremendous amount of respect. Our cab driver from ATL to our house was from Sudan and we were mesmerized by his story of coming to the US and we were impressed by his language skills. It’s extremely easy to be myopic when you live in the US.
I also learned to appreciate the difficulty one has in shedding their culture. I used to scratch my head when visiting a “Chinatown” in New York or San Francisco wondering why they didn’t just assimilate into the US way of life. It’s just impossible to switch gears like that (as I’m writing this from an American-style town home where we don’t even own a pair of chopsticks). My obsessive need to find a decent burger and my own car show me that you can take the boy out of America but not the America out of the boy.
(To put my next statements into context, I traditionally lean towards the libertarian side of the political spectrum with a dash of fiscal conservatism and social liberalism)
I’ve now learned that a government with a bit more power may actually be a good thing in some instances. Sure, it wouldn’t be fair or nice to have the government relocate your neighborhood to allow a developer to build a shopping mall, but I can’t help but think of initiatives that benefit an entire city that get held up by a few people. Here, the people are conditioned to “take one for the team” sometimes. But maybe I don’t fully understand their underlying sentiments yet. Actually, Singapore was an excellent example of what a society can look like under strict, authoritarian control…it’s a downright lovely place… as long as you behave.
I have learned that providing the poor with work along with a sense of “belonging” seems to have a much better effect than providing them with welfare. I wish the US could implement a program where anyone willing to work is guaranteed life’s basic necessities. (wow, I’m sounding almost Canadian).
Do you live in an American compound?
Ha. Neighborhoods divided by nationality. Some areas have proportionally higher mixes of certain nationalities. While this part of town was originally designated as a zone for foreign workers, most of these neighborhoods (now) market primarily to wealthy Chinese. Our neighborhood seems to have more Europeans but that’s only after you factor out the 60% Asian population in our neighborhood. This was one of my biggest misconceptions prior to coming here because I thought it would be much more “western”.
By design, some are more “American” looking than ours. As a matter of fact, some are downright freaky because you instantly forget that you are in China and not in a suburb of an American city. Our neighborhood seems to draw it’s design from a Spanish/ French Mediterranean look.
Would you stay beyond your 2 year contract?
It’s hard to tell what we will be thinking at the end of the contract. I really like some aspects of our life here but there are too many variables with the fact that I have a great company back in the US. Seeing this place clean up for the Olympics would be amazing.
What do you like / dislike about it?
It’s really fun to watch this government tackle projects. It’s like watching a time-lapse movie. Construction workers live on-site and work round-the-clock. Buildings literally spring up over a few weeks.
There’s something fun about the chaos here. It has a wild-west feel to it. For good and bad, there’s not a huge culture of “safety” here and it’s surprisingly refreshing. Lisa and Madeline went on a girl scout camp-out where the American parents were telling the kids to “stay away from the fire” while the Asian kids played close enough to it to learn that yes, fire is actually dangerous.
The pollution sucks.
If you get into a fender-bender, a police officer will determine fault, assess the damage and make a judgement on the spot…end of story. Sure there’s lots of room for unfairness there, but the efficiency of a system like that makes it almost worth being an occasional victim of it. Better yet, it might even inspire folks to be more responsible for themselves.
The cost of goods is amazing unless you want to buy western goods or non-knockoffs.