Now, FOUR Years in China

What’s an Ayi? It’s Chinese for “auntie” and describes the role of a maid/cook/shopper/assistant. It’s almost unheard of for a westerner not to hire an ayi when you move here. Doing things yourself is very difficult and your ayi makes everything smooth (usually). Here’s how it works with an ayi.

Morning - They arrive and walk the kids to the bus stop. They come back and begin cleaning and doing laundry.
Noon - They ride their bike to the supermarket with your list of items and a stack of money…shop, pay and arrange delivery.

Afternoon - They iron all your clothes…underwear included. They take the groceries that have been delivered and put them away. Pick up the kid(s) from the bus and bring them home. Play with them and teach Chinese. Then begin cooking supper.

Early evening - They serve dinner, clear and clean up after you and go home.

Weekend nights (optional) - Babysit

Cost: about $200 / mo….pretty cool.

So we interviewed an older ayi on sunday who spoke great english. Our friends said that an english-speaking ayi is rare and that we should jump on this opportunity. So we asked if she would work for 1 week with us and she agreed.

But there was something really bugging us about this ayi. She was pretty insistent upon hours and rates. She even mentioned the traditional Chinese New Year gift of 1 months pay. This is pretty bold. She also claimed to not cook well. In the end we could tell that she wanted a lot of money for not doing a lot of work.

Secondly, an ayi is a huge lifestyle change. You arrive in China and are surrounded with “foreign” sites, smells, tastes…everything. It envelops your life. Your home (or apartment) is your sanctuary from that…a place to keep China out. An ayi can overwhelm your personal space…especially in an apartment if you are not working at a job. It really becomes their home and they become a “mother”. With Lisa not working somewhere during the day, our concern was that Lisa would go nuts.

It’s very difficult. On one hand you need some help and would gain independence with an ayi but on the other hand, you lose connection with your own sufficiency. A tough trade off.

Unfortunately, this thought didn’t quite gel until 24 hours later when we all three agreed that we weren’t ready for this. I called the ayi and thanked her for coming but asked we cancel our arrangement. She graciously agreed and while I felt like crap, Lisa’s sigh of relief made my awkward call worth it.

We’ll revisit this after we move.